The Forgiveness Practice

Have you had this experience…

Something happens in your business and you can’t stop thinking about it…

Maybe you’ve made a huge mistake?

Maybe someone’s done something and you’re triggered big time? It could be a colleague, team member, or a client.

Maybe you’re not showing up in your business the way you want to?

Your mind latches on and starts to ruminate.

As a result…

You’re spending your valuable energy on blaming, judging, defending, resenting, and “wronging” either yourself or others.

One of the fastest and most effective ways to move through this kind of block is through forgiveness.

I call this “instant forgiveness”.

It’s when you notice something that’s got you hooked and immediately forgive.

This is different than forgiving past wrongs or memories only in so much as the time lapse is shorter. You do it immediately upon noticing that you’re hooked.

It’s a powerful mindset reset tool that helps you “clear the crap” and get you back into feeling good so that you’re freed up to take action in your business.

I am by no means the first or only one to speak about forgiveness. This is a Universal Law, taught in many ways, in many cultures, by many people.

Raymond Holliwell writes…

“The Law reads that certain ideas must be dissolved and cleared from the mind in order that other ideas or new ideas of a different character may replace them. It may be explained as a bottle that is already full which must be emptied before it can be refilled or added to.”

This is exactly why we do the Forgiveness Practice.

We don’t want to be consumed by our unproductive thoughts. We want to free ourselves to use our mind for empowered creation… and we can’t do that if we’re hooked into a situation.

Here’s my version of Forgiveness:

1. Get clear about what’s got you triggered. Write down everything that you’re bitter about regarding this situation. What are you hooked by? What feels wrong, unfair, unjust? What are you angry about? Who’s complicit?

 

2. Next articulate to yourself that forgiveness is NOT about condoning the situation, person, or the person’s behavior. You’re not saying that what happened was right, good, or something you want more of. You’re not asking for more of it or saying it doesn’t matter. You’re simply saying you no longer want to drink the poison of being triggered by this.

 

3. Then, forgive the other person for what they did.
    

   “I forgive you for… (Name everything you articulated in Step #1 and anything else that comes to mind.)” 

   “I forgive you for being…    and doing…   “
    

   Really go to town here and brainstorm everything that needs to be forgiven, anything and any person that’s remotely involved and related needs to be forgiven… which means you release them. Remember this isn’t condoning. It isn’t saying you want to be friends with them. It’s just saying you’re done holding onto this.

 

4. Forgive yourself for any part or role you played it in. Most importantly, forgive yourself for what you made it mean.
    

   “I forgive myself for…   “

   “I forgive myself for making this mean that…   “

 

5. Then forgive yourself for holding onto this grudge / anger / disappointment / resentment / fury and the meaning you gave it for however long it’s been.
    

   “I forgive myself for holding onto this and making myself miserable for… hours / days / weeks / years.” 

 

6. Next, send love to yourself and the others involved then. This is noble love. You get to be the benevolent provider of love. You have this power. You have this choice. You can send it out, sprinkle it, and give it away.

 

7. Breathe this experience in with a couple of deep breaths that anchor in the experience.

 

8. Open your eyes and check in. Does the situation feel different? If you’ve truly released and forgiven, the idea of what happen will no longer trigger you.

 
Would you like a copy of this practice to print out and keep handy?

Download a copy here.