Breaking your addiction to stress

Every day we pre-pave the road to our outcomes, to what we experience.

We do that by consciously or unconsciously thinking about how things are going to go.

Is it going to be easy and flow smoothly? Or hard and a struggle?

And we start telling ourselves a story about how things are going to work.

Tons of choices come in, especially when we’re doing something new, important, or under a time constraint.

Take a gander at your thinking the next time you’re about to go to do something…

• What are you imagining is going to happen before it happens?
• Are you pre-paving what you want or what you don’t want?
• Are you using this to prep and adjust (i.e. problem-solve) or are you using this to affirm your worries, doubt, and anxiety?

I suggest you start this inquiry with small things as they’re often less loaded than when you’re doing something new, important, or time urgent.

Those added stressors are not conducive initially as stress narrows your focus, not allowing you to have the necessary open-focus for an enquiry like this.

 Eventually though you’ll use this process for all experiences.

In fact, it’s really important to write the story you want even when something is a stressor – new, important, or under a time constraint. These are the most important times to do so. BUT, if you’re just starting this process, these are the times that will be the most difficult, so let’s get our story-writing chops dialed in first with scenarios that are less challenging.

Want an example of how to do this? 

I thought so. :) Here’s one from my own life.

I’m getting ready to go on a trip this afternoon. Last night I reviewed my calendar and realized that the time I had allocated (in my mind) for writing this newsletter was actually filled with the standing branding meeting from the afternoon that got moved up.

I think: When am I going to write this? It’s due tomorrow.

I go to bed and think: It’s all going to work out. It’s going to come to me easily.

Important: This 👆is the story I’m telling myself.

I’m not telling the story that goes like this: F&#k! What am I going to do? I don’t have time. I should have done this earlier. Etc.

I wake up this morning a half hour before I had planned to… with an idea. 

Yay! I can write about that. Yet as I go about my morning, it’s not feeling “right” or easy… but I don’t sweat it.

I continue my puttering… making tea, letting the dog out, etc. Then I settled down to write. 

Right before I pick up pen and paper to write, I read something with the word “story” in it and all at once the topic for THIS newsletter comes to me. In one fell swoop. EASY. QUICK. SEAMLESS.

Totally in the flow of things, just in the moment I needed it.

Zero stress.

I could have made it stressful. I certainly have many times in the past.

But I’ve trained myself to refuse to write the story of stress.

I pre-pave how I want things to go… easy, in the flow, just working out.

When I do this, I always get… easy, in the flow, with things working out.

It feels like magic, but it’s not.

It’s giving a directive to your subconscious mind to search for this. Our brains are wired for this.

But most people are stuck telling themselves stories of what they don’t want inside. Hello, worry, doubt, and fear.

When you get good at this process of pre-paving the road to your outcomes with the story of what you want, not what you don’t want… life unfolds exquisitely.

Problem is… most people are addicted to the story of stress.

In fact, the story they’re unconsciously telling themselves is that in order to be worthy of that which they desire whether in their personal or professional lives, they have to struggle.

Of course effort is required. But stress? Not necessary.

In fact, the places where you’re stressed and struggling and not getting what you want or not living the way you want are your growth edges.

There’s always a place where this is happening but you may not be aware of it. 

It may be normalized to you as “just what’s required,” but if you’re not experiencing ease and flow WHILE achieving your next goals, then this is where you need to do the work.

I would love to help you with that. (Just email me with a quick note.)

In the meantime, ask yourself: Where am I stressed or struggling? What is the story I’m writing about that? Is that serving me?

Chances are you think in some way that it is – but if you’re not truly getting you what you want in all areas of your personal and professional life, it’s not. Don’t let the short-term “rewards” fool you.

It’s time to rewrite the story.

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Want to experience more as an Unstoppable Woman?

Be sure to check out the Unstoppable Woman podcast. If you’re ready to step into an exquisite life, schedule a call to discuss how we can help.