The Shadow Side Of Drive And Ambition

Do you have drive and ambition? I do and I think this is something that all women who are successful in business have.

Personally, I love my drive and ambition. We’re on good terms now… but that wasn’t always the case.

I used to drive myself so hard that I caused myself intense physical pain–neck pain, back pain, even numb fingertips.

Worse yet, and this is something I’m really not proud of, in this single focus to achieve, I put my relationship with my husband at risk.

How’d I do that?

I did that by defining my success as only what I had achieved… what I had done lately, today, right now.

This is seemingly great for getting things done and moving your business (and your life) forward, but it puts you on the hamster wheel of never enough. You always have to do the next thing, and the next, and the next. (Do you feel me?)

Plus, if you do that 100% in your business and your life, you cut yourself off from your “beingness”. You cut yourself off from and lose sight of who you essentially are.

And this is what I was doing. (Not completely, of course, but to a degree that was pushing our relationship to the brink.)

I was out of touch with what made me “me”, my essential self, and to be honest, my feminine side.

By feminine side, I mean my sense of openness and vulnerability. My softness, my allowing, my ability to receive. My intuition, my sense of connection and collaboration.

[Of course these traits exist in both men and women. Just like drive and ambition exist in both men and women. And that’s a good thing. For me, it’s about what’s taking the lead role in how you’re showing up, and for how much of the time.]

This is the shadow side of drive and ambition. This is the shadow side to our intense desire to live out our purpose in the world and achieve great things.

There is nothing wrong with ambition, action, and going after our goals.

Let me repeat. There is nothing wrong with ambition, action, and going after our goals and putting the effort into your life and business.

We need the masculine elements of doing business like… project plans, goals and metrics, sales funnels, operating manuals, financial systems, solid structures to our businesses, etc.. We need to be action-oriented.

Without action, we’re just hanging out in our day dreams.

I love me a good day dream. This is where some of my best ideas have come from, the most juicy and creative concepts come from this receiving mode.

And that’s just it…

We need to be in touch with both sides of our nature.

The “New Feminine Leader” cherishes both sides of herself and holds them both as scared.

We can neither reject our masculine elements or our feminine elements and expect to get ahead with ease and grace.

When you over-emphasize the action-oriented, masculine side of your nature, the shadow side comes out…this looks like overwhelm, stress, burnout.

This so important to recognize.

In order to step into a new paradigm of feminine leadership–one that prioritizes ease and grace–you must release the beliefs that drive you to show up in ways that aren’t truly serving you.

Enough of the patterns that lead to over-striving, over-doing, and overwhelm. Enough of the beliefs that cause worry and the grind-it-out-push-style of building a business.

This is not how you bring your work and your message to the world. It’s no longer effective and is counter to your energy as a woman.

It’s time to release the thoughts and habits that are holding you back and transcend the old models for achieving success.

I invite you to stand in your power with no apologies and bring all of YOU to the world in a bigger way. Start now. This is so important. This is how you get the wholeness, peace, and joy that you really want.

And this is how you build a success business that is soul satisfying and financially rewarding.