How To Be Visible (Without Killing Yourself)

Did you know that I simply stumbled onto how to really rock the visibility game? I know that doesn’t sound super pro and “business coach-y” but it’s the truth.

In the beginning, I didn’t have a master plan for what to do. (I do now, thanks to Kyle, my amazing marketing guru… but this is now years later.)

I just did what I felt like doing. I followed my inspiration. I tried things out.

I did things like modeling what other people I resonated with were doing… and then felt into the experience. Did that feel good? Did I like it? Was it fun?

Sometimes it was a total drag. I felt boxed in and like I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. I stopped doing those things.

But most of the time, I naturally gravitated to ways of being visible that felt good to me. I tried things on and tested and tweaked.

This didn’t mean that it wasn’t scary, for instance, to post my first heartfelt, vulnerable post on Facebook. It was. AND it also felt good.

You see fear is often disguising some sort of desire and excitement. You’ve got to test it out and try it. You can’t let the fear stop you from being visible.

In fact, most of the time fear tells you that you are ON-TRACK, not off-track.

Let’s break this down even more…

First, you need to try things out. You need to experience different ways of being visible to know what you like. You can’t actually figure this out in a vacuum or just planning it out on paper. You won’t feel the energy of it. You need to do it to know.

Visibility is experiential. That’s where the energy and resonance of it is. Get into it. If you like something, keep doing that. If you don’t, see if there’s some way to change it up so that it works for you or move onto to something that’s more resonant with you.

Second, start where you are. This is what I teach in my free 7 Day Visibility course. This was a huge one for me and really worked. I just did the next step that was in front of me. I didn’t try to jump into being visible like a multi-million dollar coach with a team of 20, who’s been in business for the last 20 years. Sure, watch them or whoever is further along in your industry. Take in what you see. Learn from them. Notice what you like and don’t like. But take the next step that’s right in front of YOU. Use your discernment.

If you follow Abraham-Hicks, this is like their Emotional Guidance Scale. They talk about just taking the next step up the emotional scale, one step at a time because it’s hard to jump from say, Depression to Joy. It’s much easier to move up one emotional level from Depression. Then you move up to the next level and then the next.

You can take these steps quickly, of course, and it’s the same with Visibility. You can quickly get more visible, but if you try to go from invisible to doing a Jeff Walker type of video campaign you might be setting yourself up for a whole lot of hard. (It’s not impossible, though!)

Third, take the “shoulds” out of the equation. This means writing your own rules. Yes, there are more effective and less effective ways of getting your marketing message out there and I teach that. But there is no one right way to do Visibility. You’ve got to be willing to do it your way and free yourself of the “shoulds.” This will have energy and resonance, and attract your ideal clients.

Besides, these “shoulds” or thinking “I want to do it the right way” (as if there were some Universal Law that said… this is the right way to be visible! Bah!) is simply a clever way to keep you from actually taking action and getting out there.

See it for what it is and take the action anyway.

Which brings us to our fourth point… be willing to make mistakes. Okay, I would love to be able to say “I love making mistakes… wahoo”… but that would be disingenuous. They still sting a little.

What I can say that’s true, is that I’m not freaked out by making mistakes and I don’t let it stop me (mostly).

I’m willing to risk being judged, rejected, laughed at, etc. for a mistake because I know that all my good is on the other side of taking that inspired action.

If I don’t risk making a mistake, I can’t move forward. I can never learn anything. I don’t allow myself to grow. I’m stuck where I am… and that’s where the real pain exists… being stuck here when our desire is much further along.

What to do instead?

Take that action. That one step that’s right in front of you. The one that’s scary, exciting, and is calling to you. Do that!

Then do it again. And again, and again.