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“I’ve always been that chubby girl.”

By Amira Alvarez

I was out on my second run the other morning after a good, long break.

Truth: I’ve really gotten off my game!!

Truth: When I went, it was hot and I was all WHINY about it.

Whiny sounded like…

“I don’t like being in the heat. It’s hard and I’m so out of shape. This sucks. Wah, wah, wah. You’ve always been the chubby one, is that ever going to change?!”

Whoa!! We all have that internal critical voice but I was really surprised by that last bit… about always being the chubby one.

Some of you may know that I ran a marathon last year. I accomplished this HUGE thing in my life, and still, I catch myself thinking like this. Reiterating an old belief structure, over and over again.

Do you know what this does?

It makes what I want that much harder!!

There were actual times where I slowed down and stopped running—not because I needed a run break or because I was on some run/walk methodology to build up my capacity—but because I was shutting myself down with what I was saying to myself.

There was an actual physical response to the mental negativity. So interesting! (Not the first time that I’ve noticed that BUT STILL… it’s always fascinating to see it in action.)

What I realized is it takes a while to make a transformation when you’re going against such a core belief.

What I’m saying is that in order to step up in your life, you have to face when you’ve stepped away or stepped down or gone blind and checked out.

What I’m saying is that, sure, there were a lot of good reasons for me to stop running. There was a health issue. But now, it’s time again because I want to be a runner.

I don’t know what it is for you, but I bet there is something inside of you that is calling you forward, and then there’s another voice in your head that’s saying, “You’ve always been the chubby girl. You can’t do that. Wah, wah,wah.”

Maybe it’s, “I’m not so good at business.” I heard that the other day from someone who’s freaking killing it in business. Yeah, she wants to go bigger. She wants to be extraordinary. But, in her head, that’s what she was saying.

What is the voice in your head saying? What do you have to do to confront that?


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