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Want to Win the Battle, But Lose the War? Try Blame.

Want to Win the Battle, But Lose the War? Try Blame.

By Amira Alvarez

Do you want to win the battle, but lose the war? Try blame.

Today I want to talk about making mistakes, and how that causes us to want to blame other people.

I wanted to touch on this topic because of something that happened with our company last week.

I’m just going to be straightforward with you… we made a mistake.

We sent out an email with the wrong time for our big training that would be live in just a few hours.

I saw that email and I was like, Oh sh*t! I immediately jumped onto Skype and communicated with my team, so that we could correct it and make sure no one was showing up on Zoom at the wrong hour.

But the thing that was crucial here, was the way that I approached this situation.

Even though I was feelin’ a little stressed about the time crunch… I was like, Hey, we need to fix this! This is the next step I want. Then, how do we solve this in case that doesn’t work for every single person attending?

No blaming, no guilt trips. Clear headed and solution-focused.

Simple enough, right? You’d think so, but SO many successful women that I talk to still get this wrongagain and again!!

I’m not totally innocent either, to be clear. ;-)

A few years ago, if something like this would have happened in my business, I would’ve thought with an attitude of frustration and blame: “The scheduler should’ve caught thisMy team wasn’t paying attentionSomeone was being sloppySo-and-so really dropped the ball.”

I would’ve gone straight into blame each and every time there was a mistake. And I really had to change my attitude around this, quite frankly. And that shift started years ago… but I’m still not perfect!

In fact, sometimes I still go there if someone is consistently dropping the ball.

When that happens, I know something is off and I have to look at Causes.

Is it a systems issue?

Is it a management issue?

Is it a right person/wrong role issue?

Is it a wrong person/right role issue?

Is it a communication issue?

Is it an integrity issue?

And so on…

The truth is that, as human beings, we all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect 100% of the time.

So even if you win that battle,” you’re not actually winning.

You’re supporting an untruth. And all that does is perpetuate it in your life.

Instead, The Law of Cause and Effect demands that you look at the causes of the results you are getting.

You are ultimately ‘First Cause’ in your life. With that in mind, do both the enquiry in your business (see questions above) and look at what you’re doing, indirectly or directly, to create the mistakes.

Although there may be hiccups along the way, if you step out of the blame game with yourself and your team, you’ll ultimately win. :)

Every time I take personal responsibility in this way, I immediately see the positive effects ripple out to my team and in all areas of my business and life.

I felt better. The ease and delight came back. All the changes that needed to be made, happened in that seemingly effortless way that I’m used to. Ahhhh… back on track!

This is what I mean by winning the war.

So, how can you hold yourself to a higher standard when it comes to this?

This is an attitude shift that closes the gap so that you’re no longer wasting energy on blaming yourself or blaming others. You’re just focused on going to the next level… which will get you there so much faster. 

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