You know what’s not sexy about business?
Exhaustion, indecision, not being truly seen as the brilliant, powerful woman that you are.
Master the Inner and Outer Game of Business
This video is dedicated to the beautiful, brave, and POWERFUL women who attended the Becoming More Mindset Mastery Retreat.
Your potential is unlimited. Of course.
This week a made two big decisions. Count them… two!
I decided to pay our house cleaner to wash and fold our laundry and I decided to order organic, premade food and have it delivered straight to my doorstep every week.
The excitement I felt doing this FAR exceeded the gravity of either of those choices.
On the face of things, these don’t seem like really big decisions. It’s just paying for a product or a service. We make these kinds of decisions all the time.
Yet, this was (strangely) a bigger deal to me than when I flew first class for the first time which was a much bigger financial investment for sure.
So what was this about? What made this different for me?
The stories I was telling myself about what this meant.
What do I mean by stories?
Stories, in this case, are the thoughts we have, that are sometimes barely perceptible, that run in our head about why we can or cannot do something, take some action, go for some dream, have something, ask for something, engage in that conversation, etc.
It’s what stops us… in life and business.
There’s the story of…
I can do it myself, therefore I don’t need to hire someone to help me. (Total BS)
It’s silly, not worth it, extravagant, indulgent, wasteful. (Double BS)
Maybe Jack (el husband) won’t agree, like it, approve, etc. (OMG, am I really admitting this out loud to you? I am, ’cause that’s the truth right there.)
All of these stories boil down to SELF-WORTH and FEAR OF REJECTION.
I want it, but… Do I deserve it?
I want it, but… What if “they” don’t approve?
I would have done both of these long ago if I thought my desires were worth it and if I wasn’t choosing to let my husband’s ideas of what’s appropriate to spend money on stop me.
I’m not blaming him at all. Totally my choice to buy into this story. It’s my story. Of course, he has different ideas of what to spend money on. Totally cool, right? Except it isn’t… not when you make your life smaller because of it. It’s a small yet big thing.
See… I can absolutely do the laundry myself. Laundry is easy. I can do it with a (mostly) a great attitude… yet, there was always a part of me that was a little resentful. I’d rather be doing something else!
Same thing with making myself lunch every day. I work from home and so even if I’m eating food I’ve previously made, there’s some cleanup or futzing. I love having real lunches, yet I get pulled out of my workflow by making lunch, cleaning up. Totally capable, yet not what I want to be doing.
One of the things I know about life and business is that resentment actually stops the flow of what you want in your life.
When you’re resentful, you’re actually putting a giant stop sign up to the Universe.
It’s the same in your business… are you resentful having to do certain tasks?
Pay close attention here… work that out. Either get yourself good with the task or hire someone else to do. Both work. What doesn’t work is staying in resentment.
Integrate this concept (The Law of Resentment) into your business and you’ll find that this is not only a total emotional upgrade, it opens up the monetary cash flow in your business as well.
In order to be in harmony and not in resentment, I needed to move beyond my stories.
Yes, this case it meant paying the money for the service but it could mean finding a non-monetary solution, eg: a change in attitude. And yes, this meant choosing in favor of what I wanted despite potential judgment or rejection.
You’ve got to move beyond your stories. I look for mine every day and then decide in favor of what I want. Whether it’s a small or large decision, go boldly toward your desires!
What are you going to choose in favor of today?
Make that incremental upgrade!
One of my recent Bootcamp clients is new to charging for her services. She’s served people with her work for years for free, has helped a ton of people, but she never charged for what she did…
She started her business (great first step) and was providing great content. All good… except things were getting kind of desperate money-wise.
She and her family needed some cash flow and no one was buying. She was having conversations with potential clients, but something was off. Something hadn’t clicked into place.
Not until she figured out how to really show up in a sales conversation…
So… “What’s the missing link to rocking a sales call?”
Spoiler Alert… The answer is self-worth.
But let me tell you why…
On a sales call, and really always, you need to show up fearlessly in your truth, without fearing rejection.
In order to do that, you need to be grounded in your own worth.
This is an inside job.
If you’re looking outside for approval, depending on others to tell you you’re worthy, doing it right, etc… You’re giving others the power to determine your worth. This puts you in a mental and emotional cage.
If your self-worth is in someone else’s hands, you will always fear rejection.
If you fear rejection, you will contort yourself. You will not say the full truth. You will make yourself small and dim your light.
If you make yourself small, not only will you not charge enough, but people feel this and they won’t have confidence in you or your service.
At my recent Mindset Mastery Retreat on Becoming More… the client I mentioned above, totally got this. It clicked into place. She made her first sale while at the retreat. It was small, yet still a sale. Whoopie!
The day after she got back from the retreat, she nailed her sales conversation for a program she was selling at a newer, much higher price point. (Super proud coach moment.)
She stepped into her power and unapologetically spoke the truth to her client… without fearing rejection. She held the space.
The result?
As you can see… this isn’t just about the money. Yes, the money is nice. Yes, the money matters. Yes, the money came at a critical time for this client and her family.
But this is about so much more.
This is about stepping into freedom– the freedom that comes when you show up unapologetically.
I want this for you too! The freedom to be you in this world and make great money.
The first thing to know is that this is not just about what the market will bear. This is not about what people will pay. (That’s only a very small part of the equation.)
If you look to these conditions, you’ll be limited by your own experience. You will make decisions about pricing based on your own experience…. what you have paid, what you would pay, what the people you know would pay, what your past clients or customers have paid, and what the competition is charging.
Most people walk around with blinders on–only seeing what they’ve already seen.
This limits you and your earning potential tremendously. There’s a market at every price point.
The answer is two-fold.
First, there’s a simple math calculation you have to do and it goes like this…
How much do you want to make annually? Your answer = X
How much are you charging now or considering charging? Your answer = Y
Then the calculation looks like X divided by Y = Number of products or clients.
So let’s say…
X = $200,000 annually
Y= $3,000 per client or productThen $200,000 / $3,000 = 67 products or clients a year
67/12 months = 6 new clients or products a month
Is this doable? Sustainable? Does it feel good? Can you handle it? Will it be overwhelming?Does the amount you’re charging or considering charging feel exciting?
If it doesn’t feel sustainable, good, doable, exciting… that means some part of the equation needs to change. You either need to raise your prices or lower your financial goal.
Don’t make the mistake of lowering your financial goal. That’s soul crushing.
Instead, raise your prices.
And that’s when the noise starts…
This is your money story. This is your worth story. This is your security story.
The second part of this answer is that you’re going to have to move through your own resistance.
“Getting your pricing right” is what happens after you make the sale at your new price point, not before.
To get there, you’ve got to manage your mindset and deal with your worth, security, and money issues. This is where the rubber meets the road.
And the only way forward is through.
Did you know that I simply stumbled onto how to really rock the visibility game? I know that doesn’t sound super pro and “business coach-y” but it’s the truth.
In the beginning, I didn’t have a master plan for what to do. (I do now, thanks to Kyle, my amazing marketing guru… but this is now years later.)
I just did what I felt like doing. I followed my inspiration. I tried things out.
I did things like modeling what other people I resonated with were doing… and then felt into the experience. Did that feel good? Did I like it? Was it fun?
Sometimes it was a total drag. I felt boxed in and like I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. I stopped doing those things.
But most of the time, I naturally gravitated to ways of being visible that felt good to me. I tried things on and tested and tweaked.
This didn’t mean that it wasn’t scary, for instance, to post my first heartfelt, vulnerable post on Facebook. It was. AND it also felt good.
You see fear is often disguising some sort of desire and excitement. You’ve got to test it out and try it. You can’t let the fear stop you from being visible.
In fact, most of the time fear tells you that you are ON-TRACK, not off-track.
Let’s break this down even more…
First, you need to try things out. You need to experience different ways of being visible to know what you like. You can’t actually figure this out in a vacuum or just planning it out on paper. You won’t feel the energy of it. You need to do it to know.
Visibility is experiential. That’s where the energy and resonance of it is. Get into it. If you like something, keep doing that. If you don’t, see if there’s some way to change it up so that it works for you or move onto to something that’s more resonant with you.
Second, start where you are. This is what I teach in my free 7 Day Visibility course. This was a huge one for me and really worked. I just did the next step that was in front of me. I didn’t try to jump into being visible like a multi-million dollar coach with a team of 20, who’s been in business for the last 20 years. Sure, watch them or whoever is further along in your industry. Take in what you see. Learn from them. Notice what you like and don’t like. But take the next step that’s right in front of YOU. Use your discernment.
If you follow Abraham-Hicks, this is like their Emotional Guidance Scale. They talk about just taking the next step up the emotional scale, one step at a time because it’s hard to jump from say, Depression to Joy. It’s much easier to move up one emotional level from Depression. Then you move up to the next level and then the next.
You can take these steps quickly, of course, and it’s the same with Visibility. You can quickly get more visible, but if you try to go from invisible to doing a Jeff Walker type of video campaign you might be setting yourself up for a whole lot of hard. (It’s not impossible, though!)
Third, take the “shoulds” out of the equation. This means writing your own rules. Yes, there are more effective and less effective ways of getting your marketing message out there and I teach that. But there is no one right way to do Visibility. You’ve got to be willing to do it your way and free yourself of the “shoulds.” This will have energy and resonance, and attract your ideal clients.
Besides, these “shoulds” or thinking “I want to do it the right way” (as if there were some Universal Law that said… this is the right way to be visible! Bah!) is simply a clever way to keep you from actually taking action and getting out there.
See it for what it is and take the action anyway.
Which brings us to our fourth point… be willing to make mistakes. Okay, I would love to be able to say “I love making mistakes… wahoo”… but that would be disingenuous. They still sting a little.
What I can say that’s true, is that I’m not freaked out by making mistakes and I don’t let it stop me (mostly).
I’m willing to risk being judged, rejected, laughed at, etc. for a mistake because I know that all my good is on the other side of taking that inspired action.
If I don’t risk making a mistake, I can’t move forward. I can never learn anything. I don’t allow myself to grow. I’m stuck where I am… and that’s where the real pain exists… being stuck here when our desire is much further along.
What to do instead?
Take that action. That one step that’s right in front of you. The one that’s scary, exciting, and is calling to you. Do that!
Then do it again. And again, and again.
I woke up this morning at 4 am raring to go! I know, I know… that is seriously early. I’m naturally an early to bed, early to rise kind of gal, yet even for me, this is exceptionally early.
Yet, I just couldn’t contain myself. I am so freakin’ excited by all the amazingness that I’m creating in my business and my life. Things are really popping!
I’ve got my Becoming More Retreat planned in May and I’ve added on an exclusive Photo Branding Day for women who want to step into more with their images. (I am super psyched about this! It’s going to be amazing and I can hardly think of anything else.)
I am so jazzed by planning both of these events, AND by all the new that’s exploding in my personal life…
Like, I finally hired a personal trainer!!
Like, I bought a new gorgeously sexy bed to mark some serious shifts happening in my personal life with the hubs. (I cannot wait for it to arrive!)
Like, I booked a luscious two-week trip to France for us.
All of these things, in my business and personal life, require MONEY. Yup. Straight up cash.
Stepping up into more in my personal and business life required that I put down some cash to make it happen.
Cash to book the hotel. Cash to hire the event coordinator. Cash for the freakin’ fabulous photographer that’s going to blow your socks off if you come.
Cash for the personal trainer. Cash for the sexy bed. Cash for the Air France tickets.
Now, I can hear some of you saying, “the best things in life are free.” And, of course, there’s truth to that. Your feeling state doesn’t cost you anything.
In fact, mastering your feeling state is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. It’s one of the keys to unlocking the material riches in this lifetime.
In theory, it doesn’t cost you anything. Yet, I for one had to pay a lot of money to work with mentors to help me re-program my thinking, so I could consistently maintain a positive feeling state and not get triggered into doubt, worry, and fear.
Money touches just about every area of our lives… business, relationships, self-image, sense of security, etc.
When you want your life or business to be different and when you want more for yourself, you have to claim it. Part of the process of claiming it is putting the money down and spending money outside of your comfort zone.
We all have our money-spending set point or comfort zone. It’s how much you’re comfortable spending and in what areas. For me, for years, it was okay to spend money on books and home improvement items, but not on clothes and blow-outs.
The first time I had a blow-out (which was not too long ago!), I thought long and hard about that decision. Was it worth it? (But really, if you unpack that, the question was: Was I worth it?)
Spending that money was such a stretch for me. It was outside my comfort zone. But I wanted more for myself. I wanted to BE that woman who loved how she looked and who’s hair was fabulous. It represented “having my s— together” and stepping up to the next level in my life and business. To step into Her, the woman inside of me that needed to be birthed to take my business to the next level, I had to spend that money.
Or let’s take other examples… like spending money on team or technology, business travel or office renovations… to grow into more in your business, you need to stretch your comfort level with spending money.
See, if we hover within our money comfort zone, never straying too far from that set point… nothing changes. We play at the same level. We don’t grow.
Spending the money says to your subconscious brain: “I’m for reals. I’m doing this. I’m going to the next level. I’m stepping up and I’m not going to back down or back out.”
It’s a decision. And when you put the money down, you’ve got skin in the game.
Now, does spending money on your business guarantee the results you want? Absolutely not. You still need to show up and do the work and you need to manage your mindset and get out of your own way.
What it does do though, especially if you’ve thrown down some big cash that moves you beyond your spending set point, is give you the motivation not to blow off the work.
Most people, when they move beyond their money set point, will not tolerate not doing the work to make a return on their investment of money. You might wobble for awhile. You might be challenged. But you’ll go do the work, whether it’s the internal work or the external work. You’ll move through your fears and do the work.
Your money set-point is unique to you and where you’re at in your business.
For some, a stretch might be purchasing a $500 program. For others, it’s investing $250,000 into new office space.
It doesn’t matter.
Figure out what your set point is and move beyond it. Stretch yourself with investments that scare you and require that you become more in your business. If you’re the type of person who won’t tolerate “losing” their investment, you’ll show up and do the work and your business will grow.
