Despite my mad manifestation skills sometimes I don’t get what I “want.”

I put “want” in quotes because often the thing you think you want is not really what you want. It’s not a true desire but a stand-in for it or even a distraction from what you really want. 

Let’s call that a “should want.”

It’s something you think you should want but it really isn’t that important to you.

Yet often you only realize that later, after the fact, once you’ve had the lived experience and can triangulate the information.

Case in point, my recent experience with the builders of my house.

Here’s the story…

I love my house but I am moving to CA. The house is only 2 years old so it only takes some minor staging, a touch-up of paint, and a bit of landscaping to really make it shine. 

In preparing the house for sale, my agent suggests going back to the builders to get them to pay for landscaping to help with some erosion that’s occurred in the backyard.

Unlike my desire to sell and move, I’m hesitant about this. I hem and haw for a bit but my real estate agent thought it was worth asking.

When framed that way, I was like… “Okay, it’s worth asking. It can’t hurt to ask.” 

I wasn’t just deferring to him. I’m always open to input and this seemed like the logical thing to do. Plus, I figured the hesitation I felt was simply my conditioning to avoid conflict. 

So even though I wasn’t in my full ‘yes,’ I made the conscious decision to go forward. 

But then my agent took longer to get in touch with the builder and I got frustrated. 

I was irritated.
I started going into resentment.  

I focused my energy on “why aren’t you getting this done?!”… and everything started to feel hard, like swimming upstream. 

This was a sign to let it go… But I didn’t. (Owning that.)

I persisted. 

I put more time and effort into it and ultimately sent an email to the builder. 

I got a definitive response. 

NO.

Along with all the legal reasons why the no was a no.

Ugh! I really don’t like not getting what I want. 

I could feel the pull to go back in, fight harder for what I wanted, defend the rationale that we put forth, prove that we were right… BUT NO, this time I wasn’t going to go there.

This was conflict energy and this was not going to help me get what I wanted. 

But here’s the rub…

Getting the builders to pay for this wasn’t what was really important to me. 

Moving, and getting the amount that I wanted for my house, was important to me. That’s what I truly wanted!

Asking the builders to pay for something was a “should want,” not a true want.

It was never meant to manifest because manifestations happen for TRUE desires, not SHOULD desires. 

They also come with ease and grace, not conflict energy.* 

And these two concepts lead us to this… we never get “should wants”… at least not easily. 

That’s not how manifestation works.

Now I’ve been at this for years…

I know this stuff…

Shouldn’t I have known better and acted differently?  

Yes, yes, yes!  

I point this out because instead of recrimination, I appreciated my ability to let go and course-correct. And this is key. 

No making myself wrong, because the make-wrong never makes it right. 

And with those two simple choices… letting go of the need to be right and choosing to appreciate that decision… 

I got back on track to manifesting my exquisite life. 

I hope this helps you manifest yours as well. 

*This is not to say avoid conflict or avoid asking for what you want. There are many times when this is required, like when I sent Tony Robbins a Cease and Desist Letter and they immediately changed course. The key is don’t do it with conflict energy. Your ‘come from’ needs to be clean. More on that in another newsletter.