Relationships are essential to our survival as humans. Still, they can pose many of their own challenges when it comes to experiencing an income breakthrough, quantum leaping our lives, or achieving our most exciting goals!!

Do you struggle to attract the RIGHT relationships personally and professionally?

That could be hiring the right team, working with the right professionals, creating balance with your work and your family, or creating a truly lit up romantic partnership.

Whatever the case may be for you, today I’m excited to dive into a new Unstoppable Blueprint on…

9 Tips for Creating Next Level Relationships

1. Know how to choose the RIGHT relationships. This means hiring the right team, working with the right companies, signing up with the right mentors, spending time with the right friends, and shacking up with the right partner! Regardless, you have to know how to choose the RIGHT people rather than just allowing anyone into your life and business. So how do you do this?!Start by being EXTREMELY CLEAR on what you’re looking for (which involves assessing current and prospective relationships). What is the role, and what are your wants and needs? What do you deeply desire to FEEL in any given relationship (yes, even with the cleaning company you hire as much as the best friend or lover)? What role does this person play in your life? (People get very confused about this, thinking someone is there to do things for them that is not really their role.) If you don’t know what you want and need, you’re more likely to attract the wrong people or end up in situations that range from awful to those that aren’t bad but also aren’t ideal, fulfilling, or aligned. Get very clear on the roles, responsibilities, and desired feelings… envision this! And make a list!It might take several rounds before you find the right people, because there may be things you don’t realize you want, need, or value until you’re with the wrong ones. For example, we brought on a new Marketing Manager last summer that we wanted to love… but it ended up being the wrong person for our team and our needs. On the second go-around, we thought we’d found another ideal fit, only for them to leave before they began and us to discover even more insight around who the right person would be. THEN! At the beginning of this year, we found our PERFECT FIT, and she has helped us launch and grow so many fantastic initiatives!! You must be willing to “get it wrong” as many times as it takes to get it really, really right. :-)
2. Take 100% responsibility for your relationships. If you’re feeling pissed off or resentful towards others, you have to take ownership of your experience and work to show up differently. Why? Because you’re always first cause. Yes, really… even with other people involved!! You are always creating your outcomes. Zero exception.
   One of my clients recently faced this in their business. They were pissed that another member of the project made more money than they did on a particular deal. This was a perfect opportunity to ask, “Am I just mad about wanting something that I’m not getting and blaming someone else for that? How would I get what I wanted? Is there cause for course correction here?” They had to take ownership of their results and do the work to show up differently. This is The Law of Cause and Effect… if you don’t like the results and outcomes you’re experiencing, what new cause do you need to put into effect to create something different? For instance… Do you need to adjust the terms of a deal? Do you need to work with someone else? Do you need to communicate or do something differently? Do you change your perspective?Let’s look at this from another angle… you are going to want to look at The Law of Vibration here. If you’re showing up at a lower frequency, you’re going to attract lower level experiences. If you’re unhappy with how your partner is showing up in your romantic relationship (as was the case with another client of mine recently), you need to change how YOU show up first. Raise your vibration and operate at the higher level that you desire right now. THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING. AND QUICKLY. In a matter of days, this particular client took responsibility for her attitude, did a 180° with her own energy and what she was putting into the relationship, and now they’re happy love bugs again… but bigger than that, clarity and resolution in her business became evident and she’s fast tracking a huge upward trajectory. There are no coincidences.
3. Don’t be a victim. This is very similar to taking personal responsibility. When I went through my divorce, there was a moment when I was sitting on the couch with my ex (because we still lived together and were still each other’s best friend!!) when a friend of ours sent a group text. The short: he was calling me selfish and making me wrong for leaving!I turned to my ex and said, “you know… he’s making you the victim here… do you want that?” His answer was no, of course not. In what looked like an “I got your back, buddy” text it was really a pigeon-holing both of us as persecutor and victim. My ex wrote back and we were all good.But look, things are going to happen. Relationships will fall apart, people will come up short, and team members won’t work out. Someone may leave or reject you. Whatever happens, don’t make yourself a victim!! Don’t take on that role even if the rest of the world sees through the lens of persecutor and victim. You don’t have to.

   Talk about The Law of Vibration here. If you’re walking around believing you’re the victim and letting that energy weigh you down, you’ll continue to create situations that reinforce that belief. Take ownership. No one is doing anything TO you, and you are more than capable of creating BETTER situations and experiences. Own that.

4. Clean up your communication. Here’s another variation of taking total ownership! If you’re feeling irritated, agitated, or frustrated, there’s likely something you’re not clear on or not cleanly communicating.For example, last year, we hired a company to help us with some of our marketing. While we loved the strategy, the owner of the company, and the approach they took in general, there was always something that felt off in our weekly meetings. This meant I found myself irritated more often than not. Ugh!! That’s not the vibration I want to be operating at! My first approach was to work with my communication. Was I being clear? Was I asking for what I wanted? Was I expressing where I didn’t understand something or when I was looking for something different? After giving that my best, I tuned in and got clear that this wasn’t a fit and we went our separate ways. Now cleaning up my communication in this example may not have created the outcome of a continued working relationship, it did do two very positive things. First, it allowed me to move on without any remuneration, guilt, or shame. I had done my best. CLEAN! And thus nothing to hold me back from continued momentum. Second, it showed me that I really wanted someone in-house on my team for this work, which we now have and that’s working out amazingly.Communication is key in all relationships. That’s kind of obvious. I don’t care if we’re talking about your assistant, a team member, a contractor, a lover, your kids, your parents… the question really is… Are you owning your clarity in communication? Or are you stuck in frustration and blaming others? You will know the answer to this by how you feel.
5. Move out of scarcity and be willing to walk away. A scarcity mindset is often what keeps us stuck in relationships, partnerships, and engagements that don’t work. We’re afraid that “this is as good as it’s gonna get!” Or, in our business, we get worried that if we let the pain in the butt client go, we’re not going to have enough money.
   This simply isn’t true! In fact, this is The Law of Sacrifice at play. To create something of a higher nature, we must be willing to sacrifice something of a lower nature. If your client is driving you nuts, mistreating your team, and lowering your profit margins, cut them loose! Make space for the RIGHT clients to come in. That’s a pretty obvious example, but what about the less obvious examples where it may not be obvious that you’re accepting something of a lower nature.This was the case with my marriage… now, to be clear, my ex wasn’t a pain in the butt at all and was a standup guy. I talked ALL about my divorce in a recent podcast episode!Here’s the short: I did the work. I took ownership, showed up differently, and communicated clearly. I wasn’t perfect, none of us are, but I didn’t abdicate responsibility… and after doing this, the relationship still wasn’t the container that worked for either of us anymore. I realized it wasn’t changing and I wasn’t in a partnership that would allow me to create the lit up, turned on life I desired!! I had to ask myself honestly, “do I want to stay small??” The answer was no. (He had to ask himself the same questions too.) Now, I’m in a powerhouse relationship and having the best sex of my life!! But that wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t been willing to sacrifice something of a lower nature. This is necessary for growth!! But it’s not automatic, you must keep growing and holding yourself to higher standards.
6. Don’t make the other person wrong. Total ownership, remember? I’ve touched on this concept in the other points I’ve made, but it’s worth calling out on it’s own. When you make the other person wrong, you’re vibrating from a place of wrongness and perpetuating that. The thing that you want to avoid by blaming someone else and calling what they did or said wrong, is being wrong yourself. Yet, in doing so it is the very thing that you are creating more of in your life and your relationships. What we put out gets reflected back to us!! That’s the Law. Sometimes that’s immediate, and sometimes it comes back around like a boomerang a little while later. Either way, it’s not good for stepping into more!! Step out of the right/wrong paradigm. Try acceptance instead.
7. Pay attention to projection. If you try to blame someone else for what you feel and the experience you’re having… there’s a good chance you’re projecting your issues onto them. We all do this to some degree; it’s a normal human defense mechanism!This can look like resenting your partner and considering them selfish for taking time to themselves because you resent the fact that you never do. It can be blaming a team member for being disorganized and causing missed deadlines when you’re the one who isn’t on top of your time management and keeps forgetting to handle the critical tasks each day. It might even be resenting your coach and how they run their business because you haven’t been able to set your own boundaries in place.However it shows up for you, it’s important to become aware of it and own it fully!! When you do, your relationships will be so much better and you will have stepped into your power so much more fully.
8. Be on the wavelength of the people you want to attract. Do you want to find a friend group that enjoys dinner parties or takes group trips? Do you want a partner that ravishes you every time they see you? Do you want a team that kicks ass and dominates in your industry? Do you want high-end clients that easily drop tens of thousands of dollars on your offerings?Remember The Law of Vibration! Show up at the frequency of what you desire. BE that person NOW. Live your life that way. Run your business at that level. And remember, how you THINK and FEEL about yourself matters big time!! It influences your energetic state, who you’re being in the world, and the frequency you put out. When I’m feeling hot and sexy, that’s exactly when my man calls!!! ;-) There are no coincidences.
9. Understand that security doesn’t come from other people. It comes from YOU. Yes, of course we love the company of other people. We are, each of us to varying degrees, social creatures. I’m not anti-people! Lol! But here’s the distinction… The good that we desire comes through other people. Money comes from Source through people. That book deal comes from Source through people. The business deal comes from Source through people. The hot, intimate, passionate relationship comes from Source through another person. It comes through other people not from them. This is such an important distinction. (I feel a podcast episode brewing on this!! There’s so much to say.) Suffice it to say, most people place their hope, belief, and security in other people and stop there. But knowing how to hook yourself up to Source will forever change how you experience security. No longer will you live in worry, doubt, or fear of what other people will say or do and what they think of you. No longer will you make yourself small for other people because you think your safety and security comes from them. When you realize that you must work on the level of source, not symptoms everything changes. You will own your outcomes and your life. You will own your security.
   When you have this, it becomes easier to form solid relationships of all kinds! You’re comfortable talking to anyone, and you let go of the fear of rejection.

Is Your Relationship Hindering Growth?

This is an important question to ask yourself, and one I had to ask myself when I was married.

I talked ALL about this in a recent episode on The Unstoppable Woman Podcast. Yep! I got very personal and talked about my divorce. I shared how and why my ex and I decided to set each other free from what was, in many ways, a really good marriage.

I want to preface this episode by saying that I am not pro-divorce, I am very much pro-love, and this truly is the love episode.

Additionally, Sarah on Team Unstoppable asked me a ton of questions about this and we go even deeper with this topic in our special “Unpacking the Episode” conversation! If you had questions for me while listening to the divorce episode, you’re not going to want to skip this. :-)

So tell me… which of the above stood out to you the most, and around what relationships??

What new causes will you put into effect, and what Universal Laws caught your attention?

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Learning the Universal Laws of Success is key to getting out of your own way and making a true income breakthrough… but many women get tripped up because they don’t know the Laws or they’re only focused on the intellectual understanding of the Laws, never really learning how to LIVE them.

It’s exactly like reading a self-help book but not doing any of the exercises… we have a solid understanding yet we never actually get anywhere!! Ask me how I know. ;-)

Part of the struggle is that while the Laws are ABSOLUTE—they work 100% of the time when you work them properly—they’re also nuanced. In addition, when you’re learning to apply them, you’re interpreting them through your own belief system and your own personal level of awareness. This is the proverbial “can’t see the forest for the trees” scenario.

In this Unstoppable Blueprint, I want to share more about the many divine dichotomies we face with the Laws and how to navigate them so that you can experience a true income breakthrough (i.e. increase your cash flow) in your business in 2020! But it’s not just about financial freedom. It’s about mental and emotional freedom as well.

Navigating the Divine Dichotomies in Life and Business

In order to truly LIVE the Laws and create massive changes in your life, work, and income, you have to understand how to use discernment to navigate the divine dichotomies in life.

• For example, The Law of Sacrifice vs The Law of More Life… The Law of Sacrifice says you have to let go of something of a lower nature to let in something of a higher nature. Yet how does this sync with the Law of More Life which says we’re here to expand, grow, and be, do, and have more? How do you know when letting go of something is contraction based on fear and what your subconscious programming and patterns are telling you vs making decisions because you know it’s time to let go of something in order to make room for something of a higher nature. Or, when do you need to let go vs when is it an “and more” situation where you need to make room for both? To answer this you must be clear about what you ultimately want, what your current results are, and what the causes are of both.
• Or what about the nuances in the Law of Personal Responsibility? This Law says we are 100% responsible for our results. Always. Zero exception. Yet if this is the case, how do you avoid the ‘blame the victim’ scenario or stepping into guilting and shaming yourself about your results? Most people are trained early on to blame others or blame themselves. Those are their two options. The trick here is to step out of the blame game entirely. Take ownership over every situation and experience WITHOUT blame and making yourself or others wrong. Taking ownership while also being able to see that someone or something outside yourself isn’t working requires that deeper level of discernment. It’s just a problem to be solved.
• With the Law of Polarity, we have to hold both sides of the situation or experience. The Law of Polarity states that everything has two sides or poles that exist concurrently. For instance, you have to hold the belief and knowing that we live in an easy and abundant Universe, while also acknowledging that we live in a sucky, poverty-stricken Universe… it’s both! These are two sides of the same whole. They both exist concurrently. You have to learn to energize the pole you want (abundance) without becoming Pollyanna-ish or ignoring what’s going on in the world (poverty). In your business, you have to see that big problems also represent big opportunities. It’s what you do next that actualizes either the problem or the opportunity. Which do you want?

• As a woman running a business or holding a position of leadership, you must show up in your vulnerability AND your strength. These are seemingly opposites, two poles. (See Law of Polarity above.) You’re so used to being strong all the time as a leader, and you have to learn to balance this strength with the vulnerability of asking for help and the openness of receiving. It’s just like breathing… if you only exhale (giving, leading, strength, doing), you will be uncomfortable… and if you only inhale (receiving, asking for help, vulnerability), you’ll be out of harmony with yourself. But, you have to know when to be strong and when to be vulnerable (which pole to activate), as well as how to hold both and recognize all of you.
• The first Law of Receiving is giving, but you can’t overgive. Yes, you must give first. It’s like planting a seed. You must do that first before it grows into a tree that provides plentiful fruit. Yet, most people say “show me the money” before they give, before they plant that seed. If you want to increase your cash flow, keep planting seeds. This looks like investing in yourself and investing in others, this looks like sharing help, advice, goodwill, compliments, your talents, energy, time, and money. Yet, you have to know when you’re giving too much, or when you’re giving from a place of low self-esteem and self-worth… you have to feel worthy of what you want. If you give in order to get…if that’s the energy behind your actions… you are coming from an insecure, low-self worth place looking to other to fill you up, not believing that you really desire to receive what you want. Watch for that!
• Time, money, and investing in yourself. Whew, this is a big one!! How do you know when to invest in yourself? When a desire for something is above your current income level, how do you know if spending and investing the money is going to call you to a higher level, or if it will have a negative impact on your life? And how do you know when to give more time and attention to something to make it work vs when something is taking more time and attention than it’s worth? First, you must know that desire is causative, it’s always leading the way pulling you forward. It’s the light at the end of the tunnel. Ask yourself: what is it that you ultimately want? Then you must look at what is going to help you create it. This means applying the Law of Cause and Effect… yet where most people get in their own way is they are looking at what’s happening right now for them, stuck in short-term fear-based thinking, not seeing the correct cause (action, decision, investment) that’s going to give them the results that they want. We’ll be discussing all of the above in so much more detail on our upcoming podcast. Yep! You heard that right–we’re launching The Unstoppable Woman Podcast!! Watch this space. Click here to be on list to get first access to the episodes and make suggestions on what you’d like us to cover. We’re all ears!

Knowing how to navigate these divine dichotomies requires that you learn the Laws and how to APPLY them to your daily life and work in a productive way!! This takes time and intention to learn, and it’s something I’ve spent many years doing.

How I Integrate and LIVE The Laws

I’m going to share all the ways I do this in my own life and business…

1. I read books on the Laws all the time. I have a standard library of books I keep with me at all times (yes, even when traveling!!) so that I can brush up every morning and as needed. The books I read are SO ESSENTIAL to living the Laws that I give copies of this library to my Spirit of Wealth Mastermind and Masterclass women each year. If I’m challenged, I pick up a book and open it to see what guidance I need. I read every morning during my morning routine and I’ve often studied one section of one book for weeks at a time to really grok the lessons and information. #committed
2. I’m always assessing real-life applications of the Laws. This means when I’m at the movies, listening to podcasts, watching biographies, etc. I’m assessing how things are happening according to Law. How are people applying the Laws, consciously or unconsciously? Where are things happening or not happening because of Law? This helps me further SEE and UNDERSTAND the many nuanced ways we have to work at applying the Laws. It’s a never ending process that I’m ALWAYS studying!!
3. I apply the Laws with my clients. Whether we’re diving into the tactics and strategies of scaling or navigating the emotional rollercoaster of growth challenges, I’m always aiding, advising, and guiding them by Law. I teach them the Laws directly and indirectly (modeling is huge) and I help them understand how to really apply them in their own lives and businesses in each and every situation that comes up. This is what allows them to make those HUGE leaps in income and feel secure in their lives. When you understand how to navigate life and business, everything drops into place. The world goes from chaos to order and you understand how to work according to Law and actually get the results that you want.
4. I hold myself to higher and higher standards. I’m always studying this stuff and I’m always learning like I said before. But as we move to higher and higher levels of success, income, visibility, and impact, we still encounter our subconscious patterns and programming that threaten to hold us back! I’m always doing the work of unpacking my subconscious blocks and beliefs myself and I’m always willing to see where I’m continuing to stop myself. I do this on my own and with the support of my mentor, because we can’t always see the forest for the trees!! #walkthetalk
5. I reference a cheat sheet of the Laws as needed. When something isn’t working out how I’d like it to, I look at this sheet. This sparks my thinking. Here’s an example… perhaps I take out the sheet and my eye lands on The Law of Polarity which says that if the desire is felt, the supply is ready to appear… that means if I TRULY desire something, there’s a way to get it… I’m just not approaching it correctly. I’m missing something. I’m focused on the opposite pole than what I desire. I then would ask myself “What am I not seeing her? What’s the opposite of this? What’s the opportunity in this situation?” and the ideas come. Then you must act on them. ;-)

A lot of manifesting talk online focuses on feeling good… making vision boards and repeating mantras while we wait for things to come to us. That’s not how it works. Vision boards, mantras, and vibrating at the right frequency are TOOLS that help with manifesting… but action is key!!

We have to actively MOVE TOWARDS what we desire… and truth: sometimes that’s hard and doesn’t feel like rainbows and unicorns!! 

This is why community is essential. We need to be surrounded by other powerhouse women who are ACTIVELY working towards creating more in their lives and businesses, who are also learning and living the Laws, and who will hold us accountable to what we say we want.

Where is your community? And are they going to help ensure you stay on track at a new level this year? Are they going to help you learn, apply, and live the Laws in all the many situations that will require it? 

Want to get The Unstoppable Blueprint emails right to your inbox (plus other videos, trainings, and content for becoming truly unstoppable)? Subscribe below.

Send it!

What best describes you? *

I work for a company I run my own business